I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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