my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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