let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
