Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
