dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
