C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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