Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize