I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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