he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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