white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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