Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize