Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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