The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
