I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
