if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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