At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
