Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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