if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
wow bdsm is so cute
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
