If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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