Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
