Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
