i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
