6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
