you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
