before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
