in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
