i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
