Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Randomize
