Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
