ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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