Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
FUCK WHALES
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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