HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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