dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
