Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
