How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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