Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(207): View more from Maine

I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...

(1-201): View more from New Jersey

ok, come over...I have doritos

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(404): View more from Georgia

boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.

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(785): View more from Kansas

I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.

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(972): View more from Texas

he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again

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(845): View more from New York

I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30

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(949): View more from California

There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.

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