butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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