Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize