I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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