you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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