I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
