around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
