Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
