I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
