So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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