I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
