Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
