If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
