My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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