It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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