there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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