I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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