I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
