my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you traded sex for a burrito?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
