I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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