If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
