You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
