Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
pop tarts are not kleenex
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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