I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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