I wanna bring you to show and tell
We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just wanna soil my oats bro
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
